I am now going to address the concept of having God use you.
This is something you hear people say in churches a lot, "I wish God would use me."
It is ok to want to work with God to bring about his veiw of things and his reality to your world. This is a good and fine desire.
However, God is ultimately more concerned with you, and loving you, than he is with using you. I believe this is why he does not answer many people's prayers to "Use me."
If he were to use you, this would indicate that he was more concerned with getting his purposes accomplished than he was with you. And this is simply not true. God is more concerned with you, and loving you, than he is with getting his purposes accomplished. I believe that there are millions of people who are not yet secure enough in his love to be used by him.
And beside that, the concept of using another person to accomplish your own goals is a sinful concept, something God will not do.
Think about it in human relationships. We know that when we use somebody else to accomplish our purpose, it is evil. When other people become tools for me to get what I want done, it is wrong. When I use, manipulate, or coerce others to get what I want, it is sin.
Love always, inerrantly, sets free. This is a characteristic, a part, of love. God is love. God will always, inerrantly, set you free. This is who he is.
God does not want slaves. God is highly against slavery. It is evil to him, and He will not ever enslave anyone.
Here is the point. God is more concerned with you than he is with getting his circumstances the way he wants them. Because he is love, and he cannot be otherwise. He is willing to risk not having his circumstances how he would prefer them to be in order to love you, because he values you more than having his circumstances how he wants them. This is God's primary goal, love. Because that's who he is. He can't do otherwise.
God will not use you. God will love you, and when you are set absolutely 100% free by his astonishing, pure love, you will set the world on fire, for God. And THAT is what people mistakenly refer to as "being used by God"!
PURSUE LOVE. WITH GOD. DO NOT PURSUE TO BECOME SPIRITUAL. DO NOT TRY TO BECOME GOOD. PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
Relationship is the meaning of life! Love is the meaning of life.
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