Getting what you want

Well, welcome back, to anyone who happens to still be reading my blog. Here is the latest wonder that I have beheld in my life.

Sometimes you have to get what you want to realize that you don't want it. I learned this lesson very nicely over the past nine months or so, having moved to a place that I was sure that I wanted to move to, and living a dream that I was positive that I wanted to live. So what happened? A lot. To put it briefly, I learned that I really don't know myself as well as I think I do. I learned that I really don't know what it is that I want. I learned that it is really not my circumstances in my life that are causing me unrest or unhappiness, but my own deeply ingrained attitudes and thought patterns, that I didn't even know I was indulging in. I learned why it is that I need to "Trust God with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding". It is because we really don't know ourselves, or what we want, or what is going on inside of us, like we think we do. He does. The wonderful book of Proverbs states it this way (along with the one that I just quoted)-- "Sheol and Abbadon are open before the Lord, then how much more the hearts of men?" and "Every man's way is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the motives of the heart" and "The crucible is for silver and gold, but the Lord tests hearts". And then there is this one from the book of Hebrews which states, "All things are naked and laid bare before the eyes of Him with Whom we have to do" and "The reckoning of the Lord is sharper than any two edged sword, able to discern between the thoughts and the intents of the heart". WOW.

The older I get, and the more I learn the truth, the humbler I get.