accept the pain

Here is a thought. A healthy one at that.

A lot of people I know, myself included, have been in the past or are in the habit now of feeling bad and being full of regret for bad choices that they have made. And I would hazard a guess and say that much of the world does this. People are depressed, angry, bitter, unproductive, etc. etc. because they have made choices that have brought on undesirable circumstances.

Well, here's a thought. Maybe making wrong and stupid choices is just about as normal an event as one could hope to have during this lifetime; and instead of living in anger, depression and regret, we should accept the pain and/or consequences as entirely normal as well and learn from them. Sure our lives wouldn't look like we think they ought, but do they anyway??

We should change our view of life. We should change it from "life has to be just how I envision it or it's not worth it" to "I am going to make PLENTY of mistakes and that is as normal as breathing", and then accept the new circumstances that the stupid decisions brought to us as the most normal things in the world.

What a lot of heartache and grief this would eliminate from the world. I think that this is what Mr. Maxwell is talking about in his book "Failing Forward" when he asserts that the main difference between achievers and non-achievers is how they perceive and respond to failure. Amen brother. If we were taught, from a very young age, that failure is a normal part of life, and that we should just get used to it, and THAT WE SHOULD LEARN FROM IT, what amazingly productive people we would be. Instead, at least in my life, somewhere along the line I learned (decided?) that the proper response to failure was to be depressed about it. Somewhere, somehow, I learned that failure is not normal. Who the heck got me to believe that false notion?? I'm going to kick their ass when I find out.

If I had known that failure was a normal part of life, at a young age, right now I'd be a freaking rocket scientist/millionaire/professor/evangelist/musician/writer/husband/Dad/teacher/business owner/restaurant owner/athlete/a million other things slash etc. etc. etc. Good God.

The things I am going to teach kids that were never taught to me.